Recovery
by irishkel45
Summary: Rodney helps a friend recover after the Siege. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Takes place after The Siege 3 but before Intruder.

Pairing: McKay and OC but includes the rest of the gang. I kept Ford healthy, just cause he's a cute kid.

Rating: T

Summery: Rodney helps a friend deal with loss and gains something in return. Please R&R This has been edited, cut into chapters and resubmitted.

Recovery

Chapter One

It was over. It seemed to end so quickly, even though the Wraith attacks had been going on for two days. After all the hard work and fear and loss of life, it really was over. With the arrival of The Daedalus the Wraith Hive ships had, literally, gone down in a blaze. Everyone was still holding their breaths expecting something to bring them back and to start the whole damn thing all over again. But they were actually gone!

To everyone's relief and delight, Major John Shepherd had managed to survive his intended suicide mission to deliver a nuclear bomb to the Hive ships. But there was still incredible loss of life for that group of adventurous scientists and military men that had come to Atlantis just a few months earlier, knowing that they would most likely never be able to return to Earth and their families.

When it finally hit home to the survivors that the battle was actually over, well, that's when the party began. There were hugs and tears and cries of delight when friends found each other. Everyone seemed to gather in The Control Room, where Drs. Weir, McKay and Beckett had almost collapsed from sheer fatigue and relief. Then, starting low and then building in intensity and volume, the song "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" could be heard all over Atlantis through the intercom system. People, arm in arm, with the tears of triumph in their eyes, sang together the new unofficial anthem of the city.

Elizabeth Weir turned to find a grinning Dr. Casie Ronin, Atlantis' head Biochemist, with her arms around both Carson Beckett and Rodney McKay as they sang with the music she had not so spontaneously had on hand... just in case. She wasn't quite sure how many times the song played that night but they were all quite sure they didn't want to hear it again for quite a while.

As the festivities wound down and people started wondering back to their rooms, Rodney decided that maybe he should follow their example and go sleep for a week. As he worked his way back through the hallways of Atlantis, he happened to see Casie sitting on the floor of one of the many balconies with her feet hanging over the edge as she leaned on the railing looking out over the city.

"Isn't that kind of a long way down?" he asked her.

She turned her head and gave him a halfhearted smile. "I guess it is if I actually looked down. I try not to do that." She turned back to look out over the water.

Rodney walked closer and looked down at the diminutive ash-blond who appeared to be preoccupied. "Are you OK, Casie? You look like you've got something on your mind."

"I was thinking about all those we lost," She rose from the floor and looked at him puzzled, "I mean... I was trying to. I can't remember them..." She looked up into Rodney's eyes, pleading for help, "What kind of person can live and work side by side with people for months and when they die...can't even remember their names or even their faces?"

"What do you mean... wh...you can't remember them?" he asked puzzled.

"No! I can't!" Casie was getting more and more upset. "I tried to. I... I heard some guys talking at the party about someone and I realized that I had no idea who they were talking about! What's wrong with me, Rodney?"

"You sure it's not just a case of too much of Radek's moonshine? That stuff is pretty volatile."

She shook her head, "No, God knows, he shoved enough of that stuff in my direction, good thing I mixed it with some juice... but I've always had a good memory. People used to say it was almost photographic or some such crap. I just don't forget things...especially people I care about!"

He grabbed her hands when she shakily reached for the railing, feeling the tremble in them and looked into her azure blue eyes, noticing for the first time since he met her in Antarctica, the darker blue that ringed each iris. He had never seen eyes like her's before. "Did you ever think that your psyche is blocking those memories _precisely_ because you care so much?" She looked at him puzzled as he continued. "You care about everyone here. Since the day we arrived you've worked on bringing us all together as a family. You kept the military guys from separating themselves from us civilians, as well as keeping any tight cliques from forming and shutting out the rest." She tried to look away from his all too honest expression, "Look at me, Casie. I mean it, you actually like people and they know that. Even those of us that haven't really earned it. I only know of one person that's gotten to the point of you calling him a jerk...actually, I think it was more like "asshole"." He grinned when he saw the dawning comprehension in her eyes and the hint of a smile. "Cavanaugh." They said in unison.

"He _IS_ an asshole." she stated.

"Ya, well...you're right there. And I doubt that you would find _anyone_ here that would disagree with you." Rodney put a finger under her chin to get her to look up at him again. He felt his heart thump as he saw the trust and vulnerability in those incredible eyes. "Boy, that moonshine of Radek's' is dangerous." He thought. "You think I could be right?" He stumbled over the words, suddenly feeling how very close she was standing to him. He'd only ever thought of her as another scientist, not an attractive woman.

"About me or Cavanaugh?" She gave him that half smile of her's then said, "You know that's the first time you've ever asked me that. I thought you were always right!" He grinned down at her again but backed away a bit. "And just when did you start sounding like a Shrink?"

"Well...to tell you the truth, I've had a few talks with Kate Heightmeyer myself in the past couple weeks." He gave her a stern look. "Which I'd like to be kept just between you and me. Maybe _you_ should go have a chat with her."

Casie pulled away from him quickly. "NO! I don't want people to think I'm nuts!"

"Casie, it doesn't mean..."

"I SAID NO!"

"OK, what about Carson though? You've known him longer than any of us. He's good at giving advice. I think he actually enjoys it in some sick little way."

She wrapped her arms around herself and turned back to look out at the water. "Ya, like I'd really want _him_ to know about this."

That hit Rodney in the gut, he'd actually thought that maybe... but if she already had feelings for his friend, well, so much for that idea. "Why are you confiding in me about this?" He wanted to just leave and let her deal with her emotional problems herself, why should he care about her anyway?

Casie turned back to him and in the darkness he could see tears on her cheeks, making him forget his irritation. "Carson has been _family_ to me for the last 12 years. I know if I had a problem he would want to help, but..." She hesitated for a moment, "He has always wanted there to be more between us that I can give him. He was my father's best student and I love him dearly but... I can't give him what he wants, I just don't feel that way toward him." She was suddenly very shy in front of him. "I thought...I've always felt like I could come to you. I don't know why, but...you don't seem to be as intimidating to me as most people do."

"Now _thats_ a change. Usually, either I irritate the hell out of people or scare them to death."

"You said I _care _about people...well, I do...but beyond all the jokes and everything... _they_ scare the hell out of _me_. Always have. My dad said that I let people in, just so far, but then I put up a brick wall to keep them from hurting me." She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand. A very childlike and endearing movement, "I don't know why I can talk to you, but I can... I hope... you don't mind."

Rodney suddenly realized that she had been doing the same thing he had been doing for most of his life, with a slight twist. While she had been hiding behind humor and that incredible smile with perfect teeth, he had been keeping people away with snide remarks and boasting of his intellectual superiority. Belittling people before they could turn and hurt him. It seemed that without actually knowing it, she had seen in him, a kindred spirit. And surprisingly enough, he had never been quite as annoyed with her as he had with everyone else at one time or other. She always answered his sarcasm with a smile and a chuckle rather than being intimidated or hurt. That had always puzzled him, but never made him want to work harder at directing his acid wit toward her. "No, I don't mind. As long as this talking thing can be reciprocal?" He gave her what he hoped was his most charming smile but was more likely his usual kinetic, nervous smirk. He just had no way with women, and he knew it.

"Deal!" She put out her hand offering to seal it with a handshake, but when he reached out and grasped it, she pulled him into a spontaneous hug, stretching up to be able to get her arms around his neck. Before he could recover from the surprise and take full advantage by wrapping his arms around her, she let go. "I guess I'd better let you go get some sleep. We'll all probably want to kick Zelenka tomorrow." She tried smiling but as her eyes met his she said quietly, "Thank you." Then she turned and walked slowly off the balcony and down the corridor.

He watched her go, but as he worried about her, he also managed to appreciate the view of her backside till she was out of his sight.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter. Two

Over the next few days, everyone was busy, but at a slower pace, repairing the damage to the city from the Wraith attacks. Casie had been right about people wanting to kick Dr. Radek Zelenka for being so generous with his version of Atlantian/Czech vodka, but they still managed to choke down a glass or two each evening when the remnants of the populous would gather in the commissary for dinner and friendly conversation. John Shepherd was asked to transport Radek to the mainland several times so he could gather the native fruits and berries he had been fermenting and distilling into a very potent "_pain killer as well as paint stripper_" as Shepherd had called it. Actually, the libation was in so much demand Radek begged Casie for the extra distilling equipment she had for the Chemistry Lab. And since she was one of those indulging in the, _not so harmless_, evening pastime she not only felt the obligation to provide the glassware but also to help him purify the product, which managed to make it more palatable and a bit less detrimental to the human system. Hence, she, her children, grandchildren and any and all future decedents had been blessed for her generous intervention.

Rodney had not had a chance to talk alone again with Casie since that night on the balcony, but they had eaten meals together, along with Zelenka, Shepherd, Carson and several others all gathered around the corner table at the back of the commissary. Even though she had smiled and laughed with the others, he noticed that there was still a quietness about her that was not the norm. He was determined to find a chance to sit down together with her, _just_ her and talk. He was sure she was still suffering from the blank spots in her memory.

After she had left the table after lunch the next day, John Shepherd watched her go and said, "OK, is it just me or is there something going on with Casie?"

"I was wondering the same thing," replied Carson. "Has she said anything to any of you?" The Scot looked quite worried, especially when everyone at the table had also said they noticed a subtle change in her. Everyone, that is, except Rodney, who was strangely silent on the matter.

Later that day, Rodney received a request from Beckett through his laptop computer to report to the Infirmary at his earliest opportunity. He sighed and sat back in his chair wondering how he was going to handle the ensuing conversation. Should he confide in Carson? He knew she, herself, didn't want to talk to him about it, but he was also worried about her. She had lost that sparkle in her eyes that, even at her sternest, belied the constant amusement she saw in everything and everyone around her. He wanted so much to see that again, and more. That's when he made the decision to tell Carson... and hoped that he could advise him so he could get Casie back to herself.

"_WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YA TELL ME, RODNEY?" _Carson got up and stomped around his office, furious with his friend.

"Because she came to _me, _Carson. I also thought that she would be over it by now. Obviously, I was wrong."

Carson raised an eyebrow at the confession, subtly amused, he thought he'd never hear _that_ from, of all people, _Rodney! "_You still should have told me." He sighed and sat back down. "For that matter, why couldn't _she _tell me? I've known her since I was an intern in Edinburgh."

"Carson, she said she didn't _want _to talk to you about it. I even suggested it, or to go talk to Kate. She flatly refused. Stubborn, that's what she is!"

"Och! And her temper! You'd na think so, cause of her generally sweet disposition, but don't be around when she loses it."

Casie was right, even Rodney could see Carson cared a great deal for the 5'2", blue-eyed, brilliant Chemist. "Sheesh! NOW who's smitten?" Rodney thought.

"I'd give anything if..." Carson's voice trailed off. "But she's made it very clear that she has no interest in me. She calls me "_the brother she never wanted"_! He chuckled without humor. "So, I must let her choose her own," He looked sideways at Rodney. "Even if it ends up being my friend."

Rodney looked up to see Carson looking honestly into his eyes. At that moment, they both knew the other would accept what ever happened, if anything.

"Is there _anything _I can do to help her though this?

"It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and isn't something that's easy to treat. She has…well, traumatic situations in her past that no doubt have complicated matters. But, you can be there for her when she needs someone to talk to."

"I had already intended to do that."

"Casie is a very strong lady now, and getting her to open up isn't going to be easy, but she _did_ go to you about it." Carson bit his lip, thinking, "There is one thing you could try. You know the people she was closest with... you could make comments that put her in mind of the one she might feel the most loss for. Don't be obvious about it. Mind you, when and if she does remember… it could be cataclysmic. We need to be prepared for the fallout."

"Maybe I should just leave this up to you."

"No, she seems to find you easier to talk to… Lord knows why! But we've all seen the change in her and we need _our_ Casie back. Just try to be subtle with the reminders." Carson smiled at his friend as he walked him to the door. "I _mean _subtle, Rodney. I know it's not your forte', but it's worth a try."

Rodney tried to look indignant as he left the Infirmary, but he knew full well that Carson was right. How could he manage it though? Then an idea struck him and he stopped in mid-stride with "that" look on his face. Now all he had to do is get permission from Elizabeth to carry it out!

Before returning to his repairs, Rodney tapped his earpiece requesting time in Dr. Wier's busy schedule. As he entered her office, Elizabeth could see he was troubled about something.

"What can I do for you, Rodney?"

He paced in front of her desk and looked at her for a moment making strange pursing movements with his lips. This only managed to cause concern because Rodney was not one to hem and haw around any subject. "I need a favor, Elizabeth, and I can't tell you why."

She sat back and gave him her most puzzled look. "You've certainly earned any favor I can grant you, Rodney, but I would hope that you could confide in me if you have a problem."

"Normally, I could… and would." He sighed. "But the favor isn't for me, it's for a… uh… friend."

"Who?"

He sighed again. "I can't tell you. This friend has come to me with a rather… serious personal problem and it can't wait. Please, just trust me when I say that it in no way endangers Atlantis or us. But I _need_ to do this and I need to do it now." Rodney looked into her eyes, trying to convey the importance of his request.

She got up from her desk and approached him. "What do you need?" Rodney exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath and asked.


	3. Chapter 3

Recovery

Chapter Three

Later that evening at dinner, the table in the back corner was full of the usual conversations. John and Aiden Ford were at their favorite pastime, picking on Rodney. Radek was digging for information from Teyla on additives for his next batch of brew with a few suggestions thrown in from Carson, while Casie sat quietly, amused by the table of friends. She decided that her glass of juice, sans moonshine, needed refilling and as she walked through the Mess Hall toward the kitchen, she heard a snide comment about short people and the fact that Earth must have no real use for them or they wouldn't have sent "_her_" to Atlantis!

Normally, Casie could ignore ignorant comments such as this, but she was not feeling as generous as usual. She turned, looking at the smirking face at the table on her right. Cavanaugh slouched, tipping back on two legs of his chair, sneering at her and sucked down half a glass of Zelenka's concoction.

Slowly, without changing the blank expression on her face, she approached the very tall physicist. "Is there a problem?" she asked calmly.

Carson was watching from the table. "Och! I've seen that look before, there's gonna be trouble!" But before either he or the others could react, Casie had kicked the chair out from under Cavanaugh and was currently kneeling on his neck.

"Is there something _else_ you'd like to say, Doctor?" she said through gritted teeth.

"Somebody get this bit…" His sentence was cut off by a little more pressure on his throat.

"I believe you owe me, as well as every other vertically challenged person in this and all other galaxies an apology, Doctor." Casie pointed out to him. "You don't have to actually say it, just nod your head, like a good boy." Which he promptly did, after which, she removed her knee from his throat and started walking back toward her table.

"What the hell was that…?" John started to say to her when he heard from behind them.

"_DIKE BITCH!_"

After that, Cavanaugh couldn't say much of anything and the concern other's had that he might, at some point, breed was no longer of concern.

"And just where'd she learn that little maneuver?" John asked a ginning Teyla, through gritted teeth.

"Dr. Ronin and I have been working out every few days. She said she needed to work off some… frustration." Teyla replied innocently.

"What the hell was that?" Rodney said to Casie putting his hands on his hips. He looked back at a prostrate Cavanaugh. "What did he say?"

Casie sat back down at the table picking up the glass in which she knew Zelenka had been drinking straight alcohol and downed what was left then handed it back to the bewildered Czech, who in reality, was not more than 4 inches taller than herself. "Does it matter? He's not saying much now…"

"Remind me not to make you angry at any time in the future." John said, sitting down with a slightly pained look on his face. Casie was surprisingly calm, considering what had just happened.

People, mostly the few cronies of Cavanaugh, tried to convince Carson that he should be helping him instead of ignoring the man's groans and showing all his concern for, who they considered, the aggressor.

At that precise moment, Elizabeth walked into the Mess Hall. Seeing people gathered around someone collapsed on the floor, she hurried over. "What happened here?" That's when she saw it was Cavanaugh on the floor, in truth, not one of her favorite people. She had actually threatened to drop him off on some other _empty_ planet so he could be as self indulgent and arrogant as he wanted without being a general thorn in everyone else's side.

"_It was her! She's nuts! Shouldn't be allowed out in public!_" One of the cronies growled, pointing at Casie, who was sitting quietly at her usual table, the others sitting down quickly trying to act as if nothing had happened.

Elizabeth stifled a smile by biting her upper lip and walked slowly over to the table at the far end of the room.

"May I?" she said, indicating that she wished to join them and sat across from Casie. "Dr. Beckett, I believe there might be someone over there that is in need of your assistance." She said to Carson.

"He can bloody well suffer as far as I'm concerned!" He replied. She looked at the normally gentle doctor in shock. "If I were to go over there I'd be sorely tempted to forget my Hippocratic Oath and pummel the dirty bugger."

She raised one eyebrow then turned to Casie. "Your handiwork?"

Casie nodded calmly.

"He deserve it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Sorry I missed it."

"There's always the security video." John suggested with the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Well, that's not why I'm here." She said cheerfully.

"Can I get you a drink, Elizabeth?" Radek offered.

"Oh, I would love one, Radek, but I still have some reports to type and get off to the SGC tonight. But thank you anyway." She looked around at the people gathered at this table, actually, the people she felt a close personal friendship with. More so than any other group in Atlantis. "I just wanted you all to know that the repairs have been going so quickly and so well, I've decided to reward you by giving you a couple days off to just relax and maybe grab some extra sleep." She grinned over at Rodney.

"Well, _I_ could certainly use some extra sleep!" Rodney replied when everyone was giving Elizabeth their heartfelt thanks.

"No thanks are necessary, you've earned it!" She said as she rose from her chair to go. "John, may I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure." He rose to follow her toward the door.

Just outside, Elizabeth turned to John, barely able to keep a smile off her face. "Did she _really_ punch Cavanaugh out?"

"More of a kick, actually. It was a thing of beauty, Elizabeth! You should have seen it."

"Well, I think I _will_ have to see what the video shows." She muffled a giggle by covering her mouth.

"Yes, um… could you make a copy of that for me?" He smiled back at her. "I should probably get back in there. I have to go make a "_suggestion_". Not sure why yet, but I think this whole thing with Casie gives me an idea."

She watched as he re-entered the Mess Hall. "Well," she thought. "Now I know _who_ Rodney's mysterious friend is. I just wish I knew what was going on." She was surprised but pleased that his friend turned out to be a woman. He gave no indication that there was anything more between them, but Lord knows that it would take a woman like Casie, with her normally patient and light hearted nature to put up with Rodney. But what would it take to cause her to lose her temper? She had to find out.

"I just got the greatest idea!" John said as he sat back down at the table with the others.

"Oh great!" moaned Rodney. "The last time you had a great idea…"

"Would you at least _wait_ till I tell you before you complain about it?" He suspended his usual complaining, giving John a chance to voice his _great_ idea. All the while watching to see Casie's reaction to it. "What do you say to packing up some supplies, grabbing a puddle jumper and taking off to the mainland for those couple days. Do some relaxing on the beach. We could set up a nice cozy camp and have a great time!" Rodney had to admit, John was doing his best to sell the idea to the rest of them. "Zelenka, I could teach_ you_ how to surf!"

"That's very nice of you John, but I can't swim." Radek replied. "But I would like to go. I haven't done any camping, just for fun, since I was a boy."

"Count me in!" Said Ford.

"Great! Carson, how about you? Get a little fishing in…"

"I wish I could John, but I have too many patients in the infirmary. Now is a bad time for me, I'm afraid."

"You'll go, won't you?" He turned to Teyla.

"I would be honored, Major. Perhaps Dr. Ronin would help me choose what is going to be needed." She said smiling in Casie's direction.

"I'm not sure I'm up to a campout…" She started.

"Oh no, you have to go if I have to. He'll _make_ me go on this… this… adventure of his and I'll need someone to keep me from killing him." Rodney griped.

"Not to mention someone else to complain to about the bugs and lack of proper facilities." John said, not _quite_ under his breath.

Rodney continued, after giving John his most scathing look. "Besides, we haven't had much of a chance to talk the last few days. This would give us the opportunity."

"Ya, ok, I guess I could. Maybe do some beach combing while I'm there."

"Good!" Rodney sighed, hoping that the hard part was over. "You wouldn't mind cooking would you? I'd rather eat MREs than the Major's burnt offerings."

"You'd rather eat MREs at _any_ time." John shivered at the thought.

This brought the smile back to Casie's eyes. "I guess I'd better. I'll be damned if _I'll_ eat any more cardboard sandwiches if I don't have to. Besides, I used to be a pretty good camp cook."

John clapped his hands rubbing them together. "Alright! This is gonna be fun. Shall we leave after breakfast tomorrow?"

Everyone agreed, then continued to make plans and a list of supplies they would need. John made sure Zelenka would bring a _large_ supply of his rotgut along as well.

On the way back to his room, Rodney walked slowly with Casie, whose room was just down the hall from his. "I'm glad you decided to come along on this _thing_ of Shepherd's. Camping isn't one of my favorite pastimes and having you along will make it infinitely more tolerable."

"Well, it's not like you gave me much of a choice. But I would hate to see you sunburned, covered with insect bites and smelling of old MRE when you got back." She chuckled. "Playing the guilt card works every time."

"Hmmm, I'll have to remember that for future intimidation."

"Ya, well, don't pull that card too often, I was raised Catholic, I might start having flashbacks."

Rodney paused outside her door as she gave it the mental command that all those with the ATA gene used when unlocking their private quarters. He had forgotten that she was one of the few on the Atlantis team that possessed it without having to get the gene therapy, as he had. "What does being Catholic have to do with it?"

"I was weaned on guilt. After a while it comes as second nature, whether I actually did anything to warrant it or not!" She smiled up at him. "Actually, I consider myself a _recovering_ Catholic. I hate having anyone try to tell me what to think or believe. If so, I'd have joined the military." Casie sighed and ran her fingers through her cropped ash-blond hair, "Damn, I must be tired…too much information there."

Rodney patted her on the shoulder. "Not to worry, all your secrets are safe with me. Goodnight."

He walked away toward his own room, sending that same mental cue to his door when Casie, watching him go, said to him, "Are they?"

He turned back to her, seeing the dark concern in her eyes. "Always." Was his response, then turned back to enter his own room.

When the door closed, he stood for a moment wondering what their last exchange had meant. He just hoped that knowing she could trust him would help in breaking through the block she had built in her subconscious. Would be nice if he could break down _other _barriers as well. "Why the hell am I doing this?" he asked himself. "Why do I care if she remembers or not? Just why should I get involved in her problems when I have enough of my own?" He kicked off his cross trainers and fell back on the bed. "And why does she have to have the most incredible eyes I've ever seen… not to mention her smile… her wit… her magnificent temper…and butt..."


	4. Chapter 4

Recovery

Chapter Four

The next morning after breakfast, John Shepherd whistled happily as he and the others packed the commandeered puddle jumper with coolers, tents and anything else he could think of to make this confusing camping trip as fun as he could make it.

"Sorry I'm late, guys." Dressed in faded jeans, a t shirt with "_Experiment with a Chemist_" printed on it and sneakers, Casie struggled with her own supplies for the trip as she entered the landing bay.

John turned, giving her a huge smile. "Now there's a lady who knows how to go camping!" He, Ford and Rodney rushed over to relieve her of most of her burdens that included a guitar case, jury-rigged fishing pole and tackle, a backpack of personal items and, what John seemed to think the _most_ important, a boom box!

"Hope you brought a good supply of CDs!" he grinned down at her.

"Actually, I thought we'd just try to pick up the local country/western stations on the radio." She rolled her eyes at him, but softened the sarcasm with a smile.

"You've been hanging around McKay too much, you're starting to sound just like him!" he said with a mock growl.

Rodney threw him a dirty look. "Where have you been hiding this?" he said to Casie, indicating the guitar he carried for her.

"My room." She answered with a challenging rise of one eyebrow. "If you'd ever been in there or even glanced through the door you couldn't have missed it." She thought with a sigh.

"I'll look forward to hearing you play it."

"What kind of CDs did you bring?" John asked between grunts as he stored the last of the equipment in the jumper.

"A bit of everything," she said, "my taste in music is pretty eclectic."

"I too, look forward to hearing a musical instrument from your home world." Teyla said. "I think we will all enjoy this outing. Though my people live in the way you seem to think of as recreational."

"Most of the people on Earth," Casie said, "live and work in cities. Our ancestors lived off the land, much as The Athosians do today out of necessity. Camping tends to separate us from the regularity and stresses of everyday life. Most of us," she gave Rodney a sideways glance, "find it very enjoyable and relaxing. Actually, the more I've thought about it since John came up with the idea, the more I look forward to it. I hope you and I can do some more sparring while the guys are laying around like lumps on the beach."

Teyla smiled. "Still need to work off some frustrations? I would have thought, after last night, it would be a while till you felt the need."

"To tell you the truth, even though I've wanted to deck Cavanaugh for a very long time, it wasn't quite as… satisfying as I'd imagined." She paused, "But it's always nice to know that I can!"

"Dynamite comes in small packages." Was heard from Dr. McKay's direction. "And C4… nitroglycerin…"

"As do strychnine… cyanide… Viagra…" Casie mumbled as she entered the jumper.

Ford doubled over laughing at the look on Rodney's face.

"Yes, but who would actually _need_ Viagra when she looks _that_ good in jeans?" Radek said quietly only for Rodney.

"Oh, ya…" He replied quietly, sucking in air through clenched teeth as he tried to stifle a grin. "Damn, she _is_ starting to sound like me!" he thought.

"Dr. Wier… Dr. Cavanaugh would like to speak to you." Major Lorne said through the earphone on her radio. She could tell that the Major wasn't thrilled with the idea and she knew exactly what Cavanaugh wanted to talk to her about. She had been expecting it and steeled herself for the confrontation.

"Did he swear out a formal complaint?" She asked Lorne, knowing that only he could hear her question through his earpiece.

"I informed him that he was _required_ to talk to you about it first."

Sighing, she told him to tell the scientist to be in her office in one hour, since she was occupied at the moment. It wasn't true, she was just reading over the days repair schedule and enjoying a cup of coffee, but she didn't feel like starting the day off with Cavanaugh, who very few in Atlantis could stand, and his whining about how he was accosted by a woman half his size, who everyone liked.

She had watched the security tape that Major Lorne had supplied and saw and heard everything that was said. Of course, she thought Casie had over reacted, but seeing her scare the living daylights out of that man did her heart good. It will be interesting to hear _his_ side of the story, see how much he exaggerates his innocence then show him the video to see his reaction.

She smiled, took another sip of coffee and decided to play the video one last time before she had her meeting with '_The Pain in the Ass of Atlantis_'.

"OK Casie," John said getting out of the pilot seat of the puddle jumper. "Let's see if you've been practicing your flying."

"Gee John," she winked quickly at Rodney and Zelenka, "I really haven't had much time to practice. You _sure_ you wanna risk life and limb on me?" She said as she took his place.

"Um, I _think_ we'd better hold on to something." Rodney whispered to Radek. John shooed Ford out of the right hand seat, just in case Casie needed his help.

The moment Shepherd had his butt in the seat, Casie pulled back on the controls, bringing the jumper into a steep climb till they had reached 10,000 feet, at which point she put it into a diving barrel roll. Pulling out at the last moment before hitting the surface of the water, then climbing back up and leveling off at 1,000 feet, all the time with a huge grin on her face. Glancing over at a very pale John Shepherd, she said, "So, think I need more practice?" John's dropped jaw was his only response. The others thanked God for inertial dampeners while they shoved the camping supplies off their heads. "OK, so I _have_ been practicing a couple times a week with Murdock."

When John finally regained the ability to speak, he said. "You enjoyed that didn't you?"

"Who me? Na, not in the least."

"Well," he sighed, "You're a natural! Teyla, remind me to punch Murdock in the face when we get back."

From the rear of the jumper, quiet Czechoslovakian oaths could be heard from under the sleeping bags.


	5. Chapter 5

Recovery

Chapter Five

Half an hour later as they searched for, as Shepherd put it, _the perfect beach,_ he said to Casie, "OK, this is _just_ a guess, but back on Earth, you drove a little hotrod…like a Miatta or a Fiat or something like that?"

She gave him a sideways glance and a slight smile, "Actually, no. I have a big gas-guzzling SUV."

John was surprised till he realized it was the power and not the speed that she liked. "Really, what kind?"

"Ford Explorer, Eddie Bauer edition, V-6."

They heard chuckling from behind them. She turned to see McKay with his head down, shaking it back and forth, terribly amused. "What's so funny? She asked him.

"I was just picturing you needing a ladder to get into it!" He continued laughing.

"That's not very nice, Rodney." Stated John, though he too looked like he could picture her struggling to get behind the steering wheel.

Casie, to their relief wasn't the least bit offended since she started laughing as well. "May not be nice, but oh, so true! One of the first things I did was to put running boards on it. I love that car though. First I ever bought by myself and it felt like a big accomplishment."

"Your_ first_ car you ever bought alone? Who got the other cars you owned?" John asked.

"Well, my first car was a gift from my parents when I was 16, a '68 VW Bug. The next two were picked out by my ex, I didn't really have a say in _them_." She replied, "After the divorce, I dumped the old 626 and got the kinda car _I _always wanted. Kind of my… _declaration of independence._"

John looked at her surprised by this bit of personal information that he had never known. He wasn't the only one in the jumper that was surprised. "You've been married? How many times?"

"Well, gee John, thanks for the _not-so-valed_ insult." She gave him a mock-hurt look. Then she laughed at his embarrassment when he realized what he had said. "Yes, I was married, but only once, which was _more_ than enough." She hesitated, "There's a lot we don't know about each other, maybe the next couple of days we should change that." She looked over at Shepherd, and he was surprised to see a touch of sadness in her very expressive eyes.

"Ya, I think that would be good." He said quietly.

Rodney contemplated the conversation as they continued to search for the perfect place to spend the next few days.

"OH, LOOK AT THAT!" Casie cried. They were flying over a small fresh water lagoon with a waterfall pouring into it from the rocky ledge above. "Is that the most incredible spot you've ever seen, or what?"

The others got up from their seats and stared out the front of the jumper as Casie circled the lagoon. "_WOW_" and "_OH MAN_" as well as other exclamations came from the whole group as they looked down on a spot that looked like it came straight out of a tacky romance novel.

"Barely room to land the jumper and no room at all to set up a camp." Stated John. "Besides, I wanna do some surfing!"

"Ya ya, I know." Casie sighed. "I just had a _girly_ moment. OK, back to the coast."

Five minutes after that, they found what John finally proclaimed as _his_ idea of the perfect spot and landed.

It took more than an hour to unload the puddle jumper and set up camp. Making sure, much to McKay's relief, that the sand beneath the tents was raked clear of any rocks or twigs that might make sleeping uncomfortable.

After a quick lunch of pre-made sandwiches, Shepherd declared he had forgotten something. Not telling the others just what that _something_ was, he left in the jumper saying he would return shortly. The others sat back on the sand, against some drift logs, speculating on just _what_ the _something _was.

"Knowing Shepherd, it could be _anything_." Rodney mused.

"I think I know what it is." Smirked Casie.

"What?" Asked both Zelenka and Ford.

"Use logic, guys."

"Huh?" Ford couldn't understand what she was getting at.

She chuckled and said, "Well, Aiden, if my theory is correct, I'll let you know when he gets back."

"Logic?" Radek said under his breath.

A gasp followed by a laugh, erupted from Rodney as he figured out what her theory might be. They exchanged knowing looks as the others became totally irritated by the two of them. So Casie took the opportunity to kick off her sneakers, roll up the legs of her jeans and wonder down to the water to see if she could find anything interesting that had been washed up by the surf. She was closely examining a small pink shell shaped like a tight corkscrew with lavender and green stripes down its length, when Rodney joined her.

"You know," he said, "with a brain like his, you'd think Radek would have figured it out by now… and Ford is usually more observant." He looked down at the shell in Casie's fingers. "Where in the Pegasus Galaxy do you think Shepherd managed to find a surfboard? May I?"

She handed him the shell. "Who knows! John is nothing, if not resourceful. Personally, I'd rather not go into the water till we find out just what kinda critters are out there. I wouldn't want to come face to face with something that makes _Jaws_ look like a rubber ducky."

"You certainly have a point there," he agreed. "Like this little guy, we really have no idea what kind of wildlife lives on this planet." As if he realized what he had just said, his eyes grew huge and his mouth dropped open. "You… don't think… we should have brought some P-90s with us, do you? There could be like, bears or some weird version of lions around here!" Just then, the small creature inhabiting the corkscrew shell he was holding in the palm of his hand, poked it's head and legs out to see what was playing with it. Rodney jumped and yelled as he felt the tickle of 10 pointy legs. Dropping the shell quickly, they both watched, as the tiny Atlantian hermit crab wandered back into the gentle waves.

Casie loved it when Rodney let his imagination run out of control. She grabbed his arm, saying, "My God, you could be right!" She pointed at the little shell, "He might decide to come back and get his revenge on us tonight, after we're all asleep!"

Realizing he was being teased, which wasn't all that unpleasant an experience, Rodney agreed with her. "Or at the very least… he could turn around now and attack those defenseless tiny square feet!" At which point, he reached down, grabbed her around one ankle and pulled up. Casie ended up on her back in the wet sand while Rodney poked at the bottom of her foot with a finger, making her scream. "Where did you get these? Looks like something from a cartoon!"

Between screams, Casie writhed on the sand trying to get away but Rodney showed an incredible ability to hang on till he lost his balance and ended up on the sand as well. The others found them there, Casie trying to punch Rodney, informing him that he was going to die a slow and painful death, as he laughed and held on to her wrists. It all ended when Ford grabbed Casie around the waist, lifting her, bodily, off Rodney and carrying her back to the camp under his arm like a rag doll.

"Now what did he have to go and do _that_ for?" Rodney said, as he pulled himself off the wet sand. "I was enjoying that!" He laughed as he and Zelenka walked back.

"I could tell! Lucky bastard…" Radek said quietly as they entered the camp area, which sent McKay off into another fit of laughter.

By the time Rodney and Casie had dried out, they heard the puddle jumper approach and watched as John expertly landed as far back from the water as he could get without taking out some trees.

"I guess we'll see if John found what he was looking for." Stated Casie.

As the ramp dropped, opening the back end of the jumper, John emerged balancing a long smooth board on his head, the most satisfied grin the other's had ever seen, on his face and marched toward the others. He set the surfboard down on end next to him and posed as if he expected someone to whip out a camera to immortalize the moment.

"Logic, Aiden." Casie said to the young black man. "John couldn't wait to go _surfing_, but did you actually _see_ a surfboard anywhere in the jumper?" She turned to Shepherd. "Where in the hell did you find a surfboard in this neck of the woods?"

"Jinto helped me make it!" He replied, still sporting an impossibly silly grin. "I did have to promise to teach him how to surf though."

"What's that written on it?" asked Rodney, as he stepped closer to examine the board. "Glamorous Glinnis? Who's that?"

"Haven't you ever seen "The Right Stuff"?"

"Yes but…"

"OK, we've got a copy in the video library. Looks like we need to have another movie night! Your homework will be to _find Glamorous Glinnis_."

"Kinda like… Where's Waldo!" Casie poked Rodney in the ribs.

"Oh, you don't wanna start with the poking again. Seems to me, you got the… _short_ end of the deal…the last time!"

"Sure, just keep digging that hole deeper, hon." She glared at him but couldn't keep it up without letting the amused sparkle show in her eyes.

John watched the exchange, seeing the grins on the others. "OK, just what did I miss?"

Rodney grabbed John by the arm. "Come on, we'll find a place for your board and I'll give you the… long and _short_ of it."

As they walked away, Rodney ducked as a small piece of driftwood flew over his left shoulder.

"I think you and Rodney enjoy picking on each other too much!" Radek said to Casie.

She gave him a haughty look. "I have no idea what you are referring to, Doctor." But winked at him as she walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

Recovery

Chapter Six

"OK, boys!" Casie called out. "Time to get to work!"

Her announcement was answered by… "_Work?"_ and "_Huh?"_ and "_Wait, I'm on vacation!"_

"I need to have a good bed of coals before I can make dinner tonight and that's going to take a while, so, get off your lazy butts and bring me back enough dry wood to get a blaze going that will last all night."

"Oh, man!" Aiden whined.

"If you want to eat tonight, my dear, you'll get the wood. But there _is_ some power bars and MREs in the jumper if you don't want to help." She offered as he trudged down the beach.

After they had presented her with a large pile of dry wood, Casie sorted it by size, setting them next to the pit she and Teyla dug while they were gone.

John watched her for a moment then asked, "You know how to get a fire going?"

"I _was_ a girl scout!" she replied.

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Were you a boy scout?"

"As a matter of fact, I was an Eagle Scout."

"Oh, good. Cause, I learned the best way to make a nice _hot_ fire…" She stood and looked up into his hazel eyes. "Is to rub a Boy Scout and Girl Scout together." Her smile was evil as she pinched his stomach. "Now stay out of my way, good lookin', or I'll use you for kindling!"

The others chuckled at Shepherd, who stood with his mouth open, staring at Casie, who'd gone back to what she was doing.

"You know," Rodney said to Radek, "that's the first time the Major hasn't had a snappy comeback since I've known him."

As she worked, John noted that she actually _did_ know how to make a fire quickly and efficiently. Soon they all realized that it was still too early and much too warm to sit around a campfire and moved down closer to the water.

"Major," Teyla asked, "when will you show us this… what was it you called it? _Surfling_?"

Sitting up from his reclined position on the sand, Shepherd gazed out at the water. "Sur_fing_"… and I guess this is as good a time as any to try out my board. I'll go change." He ran back to the camp.

"This should be entertaining." Rodney said dryly.

When John returned, he wore a pair of long baggy shorts. Actually, they looked like he had cut the legs off his uniform.

"Damn! And here I was hoping for Speedos!" Said Casie, snapping her fingers.

"Not a chance in hell!"

"You sure you wanna go out there, hon? We don't know what's out there that might wanna make a snack out of you." Casie was honestly concerned for his welfare, he noticed.

"She's right, Major." Radek agreed.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful. I've been looking forward to this for months!" There was that silly grin again. At that, John picked up his brand new surfboard and running out into the water till it was up to his knees, jumped onto the board as he set it in the water… and sank.

Popping up out of the water, John stood, dripping, staring down at his brand new surfboard as it sat on the sandy bottom. Hysterical laughter coming from his friends barely registered. The puzzlement easily readable on his face, "It sank…"

Laughter.

"I can't believe it… sank!"

More laughter.

"How can it sink? It's wood!" He looked up at the others. "How can it sink?"

"The wood…. must… be… too dense." Answered Zelenka, between guffaws.

"That's OK," crowed Ford, "So is he!"

The laughter just kept coming.

John turned his attention back to the board underwater, still not quite believing what had just happened. He continued to stand there, just staring down into the water for a full five minutes. Then, picking up the surfboard and gathering what dignity he could muster, John waded back to the beach and plopped down on the sand next to the others.

Every time he thought that they had gotten themselves under control, the whole thing would start over again. Till finally, just an occasional snicker could be heard coming from Ford.

The five of them sat quietly on the beach for the rest of the afternoon. Casie, joined later by Aiden, worked on building, as she put it, _the first Atlantian sand castle. _Fascinated, Teyla declared that the Athosian children would love this activity, since they had very little experience playing on sandy beaches.

When the ornate keep with outlying walls and moat satisfied Casie, she wiped the sand off her hands and rose to head back to camp. As she walked past Shepherd, she patted him on top of the head, "A fine show of skill and bravery, Major."

"I too was impressed." Added Teyla as she joined Casie.

John watched as the men followed the ladies with grins on their faces. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this." He shook his head and dragged himself off the beach.


	7. Chapter 7

Recovery

Chapter Seven

To avoid attracting animals to the camp, it had been decided to keep the food in the jumper until it was needed. So, when Casie headed for the ship after checking on the fire, Zelenka and Ford offered to help carry the coolers back for her.

"What's on the menu tonight?" asked Aiden.

She looked at him and smiled. "Food."

"Well, I _know_ that! What are we eating?" He pressed.

"What ever I put in front of you."

Radek chuckled at the look on Ford's face as he stopped and set the cooler on the ground.

"OK, why won't you answer me? I'm not taking this any farther till you tell me!" He crossed his arms and gave her, what she was convinced, was his idea of a foreboding look. All he managed to do was look like an obstinate child.

Casie and Radek stopped and looked back at Aiden, amused by his stubborn stance. With a big sigh, Casie finally said, "OK, I was hoping to make it a surprise but if you insist… _fried donkey noses._"

"Really?" Radek said. "That's my favorite! I hope you make it just like my mom."

"I'm using an old family recipe, hon. I hope your mother would approve." At that, they turned their backs on the young lieutenant and continued their, not so serious, discussion of _old family recipes._

Several moments after they entered the camp, Ford returned, dragging his feet and giving both of the older scientists a look of total disgust. "I was just curious…" He mumbled to himself as he dropped down on the sand.

Casie chuckled and patted him on the cheek as she pulled a large Ziploc bag out of the cooler he'd been carrying. "Don't worry, sweety, you'll love it." She leaned closer to him. "Especially the desert!" His face brightened. "Yep," she told herself, "the magic word… works every time."

She enlisted Shepherd to erect the cooking grill over the coals while she started folding foil into a strange rectangular box, open on one end. This she set close to the coals, off to one side.

"Is _that_ what I _think_ it is?" Rodney asked, wide-eyed, as he watched her pull meat from the Ziploc bag and lay each piece on the grill. The sizzle it made caused more than _his _mouth to water.

"I did a little bartering with our dear Col. Caldwell." She added more chicken to the grill.

"Gee, if I'd known it just took being cute and batting my eyelashes at the guy to get on his good side, I would have done that days ago!" Mused Shepherd. "I don't think he likes me."

Casie interrupted, "It helps to know the enemy… research… that's all it took."

"Research?"

"Ya!" She chuckled. "I just offered to trade for access to the Daedalus' galley."

"And just _what_ did you have to trade?" McKay was shocked at the lengths Casie would go to obtain what she wanted.

"It seems that besides being a healthy American male…"

"You _flirt!" _gasped John.

"…Dear Steven… is an avid fisherman." She paused.

"Uh huh?"

"I offered him a set of _authentic_ Athosian fishing lures."

Teyla looked puzzled. "Fishing _lures_? But my people use fish _traps_…"

"That's right, they do don't they!" Casie tried to put on her best innocent look.

John laughed. "So where did you get these _authentic_ Athosian fishing lures?"

"I _made_ them!" She said as she finished adding the last of the chicken pieces.

"Is _that_ what you did with all that junk you asked for?" Asked Radek.

"It always pays, Radek, to _know_ what a man _really_ wants!" She replied to him in her most seductive manner. Then she laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"You are a dangerous woman, Doctor." Shepherd shook his head and sighed.

Laughing at the men's reaction, "Damn, straight! I would think, at your age, John, you would have figured out that we are _ALL _dangerous."

Looking around, thinking about what else needed to be started for their meal, Casie picked up a bag and a knife. Then turning back to the others, she zeroed in on McKay. Tossing the bag into his lap and holding out the knife she told him to "peel and slice".

"What?" He wasn't even sure what had landed in his lap till he opened the bag, finding potatoes and onions. "But, I can't cook!"

"Didn't you ever help your mom in the kitchen, hon?"

"Well, I…" He fumbled. "Helped with the dishes. You should have Ford or…"

In the middle of his dissembling, Casie walked over, grabbed a handful of t-shirt in the middle of his chest and pulled him up onto his feet. Wincing in pain, Rodney moved quickly.

"Hey… OUCH, leave some chest hair!"

"Chest hair?" She looked up at him. "Hmmm, yum."

"You're bad."

"Why yes… yes, I am!" She pulled him aside and spoke quietly so the others couldn't hear. "I'm giving _you_ this job because Aiden and Radek get to do the clean up later. OK?"

"Oh…OK."

"Besides, I find it very hard to believe that a man as intelligent and resourceful as you can't cook. I doubt you eat every meal in a Denny's…"

"Ya, I guess… there are a few things I can make in the kitchen."

"Cool! All you have to do is peel and slice those for frying and I'll take over." She smiled up at him. "Oh… and another thing you should understand about women, hon, we _know_ men aren't as helpless as they pretend to be." Winking at him, she tenderly rubbed the sore spot on his chest, "Sorry about that." Then turned and went back to fixing dinner.

An hour later, they all lounged with full stomachs, praising Casie's culinary arts.

"Gees, it's not like it was a gourmet meal, guys!" She said.

John looked at her. "I don't know _anyone_ that can grill a chicken, fry potatoes and onions…"

"Don't forget the _baked_ cornbread!" Aiden added. He had finished off, even the crumbs, left in the pan.

"…And cornbread." He agreed. "Over a campfire and make it taste so damn good!"

"Clever of you, making the oven out of foil!" Remarked Radek.

"Wait for desert!" She said, reveling in the praise.

"Desert?" Rodney, who had been almost comatose, perked up.

Casie laughed. "Fresh hot brownies… and you'd better enjoy them. They _really _cost me…" she grimaced. "From the personal stash of Col. Caldwell."

"Just _what _did it cost you?" John started wondering if Casie's propensity for flirting cost her more than she had bargained for. When he noticed the slight squirm she made, he realized he was probably right in his assessment.

"I have to escort him to the _best _fishing spots next week." She confessed.

"I always wanted to learn how to fish…" Rodney interjected quietly. "I think maybe, if its OK with you, I'll join you."

"You know," John said. "It's been a while since I went fishing… think you can find some more of those _authentic _fishing lures?"

"Doesn't Carson enjoy fishing too?" Rodney innocently inquired of Casie. He was surprised to see moistness when she met his eyes.

"Look guys… you really don't have…" she began.

"Yes, we do!" John declared.

"Unless… Teyla added glaring at the two men, "You would prefer to spend a day alone with the Colonel."

"NO!" Casie said quickly. "I… I mean… I'd enjoy the company." She fumbled the words. "Oh hell, I'd better get to fixing those brownies." She rose and walked off to rummage through the coolers.

"All talk and no action!" Mused Ford quietly.

"I seriously doubt that!" Rodney hissed at him.

"I have no _doubt…_ that lady… and I _mean _lady," John said glaring at Aiden. "Is as much _action_ as any man could handle. _Any_ man _she_ chooses, that is."

It was obvious that Ford regretted his rude comment as he watched Casie mix the brownies and set the pan in the makeshift oven.

The smell of chocolate permeated the air around them as she sat back down to lean against the dead log next to the others.

"You know…" she said. "We don't know that much about each other and I think we should take this opportunity to change that."

"That's right, we don't. Like where did we grow up, go to school, family… stuff like that!" Said Aiden, who was trying to make up for his stupid remark earlier. "I'll start out…" He looked at Casie. "If that's ok with you." She shrugged and smiled at him.

"Well… I grew up just outside of Chicago… raised by my paternal grandparents. Went to the academy right out of high school and graduated 7th in my class. After that, I trained with Special Forces and got recruited by the SGC. I served with SG-13 till we came to Atlantis." Then he stopped and looked to Zelenka.

"I was born in Prague, but my parents moved to family farm in Ostrava, which is not far from the border with Poland. My father wanted me to stay home and help on the farm but my teacher got me into university in Prague. I was there for a year when I received scholarship to the university in Vienna." He sighed. "The timing was perfect. My father had chosen a wife for me and insisted that I return home to marry and work on the farm."

"You're married?" Casie asked.

Radek laughed, "As I said, the timing was perfect. I left for Vienna before my father could force me to marry her."

"He would _force_ you to get married?" Shepherd was shocked.

"He would have to _force _me to marry the girl!" He said something they were all sure was a Czech expletive. "She looked… not to be insulting… she was not so… attractive." The expression on his face left no doubt to his feelings on the matter. "I finish university and return to Czech Republic to work for government. Then I come here."

"And I'm sure you left all the really hot women of The Czech Republic in tears, Radek." Casie said, making the shy physicist blush.

"Ya, both of them!" laughed Aiden with Radek agreeing.

"OK, who's next?"

"What about you?" Rodney said. "I think it's _your_ turn for full disclosure. You can tell us how you got all those post graduate degrees that were included in your resume."

She looked shocked, then remembered that he was the head of the sciences division and in actuality, her boss, so he would naturally have read her file.

"_All_ those degrees?" Asked John. "How many do you have?"

Rodney chuckled at her discomfort. "Lets see, what was it… four… no five! Or did you manage another one when we weren't looking?" He teased.

"How in the hell did you get five post graduate degrees?" John was incredulous.

She glared at Rodney while answering John. "If you let _me_… I'll start at the beginning." McKay was actually very interested also. "I grew up in Tacoma, Washington."

"Really?" John interrupted. "I was stationed there for a while. At McCord Air Force Base."

"Let her finish, Major." Rodney broke in.

"Oh, sorry." John gave her his rakish half grin.

"Well, I graduated from high school three years early and went to The University of Washington. When you're that much younger than everyone else on campus, you don't exactly fit in and naturally spent all my time on studies." She glanced over at Rodney, who knew exactly what she meant, since he had the same experience in college.

"After I got my PhD in chemistry and masters in biology, I worked in a lab and continued my studies in night school. Then I decided I wanted to go back to being a fulltime student and moved to Stanford where I worked for a masters in Forensic Science. I got a job after that in Denver with the State Police Crime Lab. I had visions of solving all the biggest crimes they had." She stopped, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Till I was given my first really big case. It involved the murder of an eight-year-old girl. It was the worst crime scene you could ever imagine. I quit the same day but the nightmares lasted for weeks." She looked at Rodney. "Found out something that day. I have no stomach for violence."

"We won't inform Cavanaugh of that." John interrupted again.

"I went to work in a lab at the university hospital in Edinburgh where my dad taught, doing his grunt work, which is where I met Carson, and going to night school till I answered an ad for a job with the US Government. In between all that, I got married… had a son… got divorced… was sent all over the world, ending up in Atlantis." She rushed through the last part of her story.

"You have a child?" Asked Teyla, clearly startled, as were the men.

"Not really a child anymore. He's eighteen and in college." She replied quietly.

"I'm sure you miss him a great deal."

"I do, but he's very independent and now I can communicate with him every week since we got the ZPM. I have a friend at the SGC keeping track of him while I'm here."

"How long were you married?" Asked John.

Casie laughed without humor. "Like I said before, too long!" She looked away from them. "It wasn't… it was a mistake." After a long pause, she heaved a big sigh and looked at Shepherd. "So, what about you John, ever been married?"

"Almost…" He replied somberly. "She decided she didn't want to be married to the Air Force."

She broke into the silence that followed. "I think I'd better check those brownies… wouldn't want them to burn."

"So, Casie…" John said when she sat down again. "You never said what your degrees were in."

She rolled her eyes in Rodney's direction. "A PhD in Chemistry, Masters in Biology, Zoology, Forensic Science and a Bachelors in Paleontology."

Rodney chuckled. "Why do you think she was asked to come here?"

John shook his head. "How can you do that…" He turned to Zelenka and McKay. "How can she do that and have a life too?" Zelenka just shrugged.

She smirked. "No social life. I'm a science geek, I admit it freely and without reservation!" She raised her hand to the sky. "All Hail the Geeks of Atlantis!"

Rodney and Radek both raised their hands smiling and replied in unison. "All Hail, Geeks of Atlantis!"

"And on that note, lets have some brownies while they're still hot and gooey."


	8. Chapter 8

Recovery

Chapter Eight

"Aiden…" Casie said to the young man. "Not that I want to sound like your mother or anything but…"

"You have chocolate all over your face, Lieutenant." Shepherd threw him a napkin.

"Oh!" he laughed. "Sorry. They were really good, Casie." He wiped his mouth. "And you couldn't possibly be old enough to be my mother… older sister, maybe…"

Casie rose from where she sat, moved quickly, kissing the man squarely on the mouth. "I love a military man who can kiss butt like that. Hmmm…." She licked her lips. "Tastes like chocolate!" The others laughed at the expression on Ford's face. She sighed, "I think I need to work off some of that dinner, anyone want to join me for a walk down the beach while the sun is still up?"

"I could stretch my legs a bit." Rodney piped in and struggled to get up. "God, I hate it when they fall asleep!"

She chuckled at the way he shook his legs as they left the camp. "Did you ever have trouble getting used to the length of the days on this planet?" She asked him.

The rest watched them go. Aiden started to rise saying, "I think I'll join…"

John reached out and grabbed his arm, shaking his head. "I think those two have some talking to do."

Ford was confused, then broke into a wide grin. "You mean Rodney and Casie are hot for each other?"

"I don't know about that, but this whole camping trip was McKay's idea and he was the one that got Elizabeth to give us a couple days off." John paused. "I think it might have something to do with the recent change in Casie's mood. Haven't you noticed? She's not quite as… I don't know… she doesn't laugh as much as she used to."

"She is much quieter now as well." Teyla said.

"It is understandable." Radek interjected. "We have all been through a difficult time. We are all changed in our own way."

"Ya, I guess… but there's that thing with Cavanaugh yesterday too. I've never seen her lose her temper before." John turned to watch the two as they worked their way down the beach. "I can't help but think it's something more. Rodney was awful worried, and he never worries about anyone but himself!"

The two scientists walked quietly down the beach. Which was in actuality, very out of character for Rodney McKay. He had always been a hyper person, his brain always working on a problem, his expressive hands helping him to clarify some theory or other. Now, he was working on how he could possibly help Casie. It was this silence that made her glance up at him, puzzled.

"You're very quiet." She said.

Startled, he responded a little too quickly. "Oh, I was just… thinking… and… enjoying the…uh… exercise!"

"Since when do you _enjoy_ exercise?" Casie stopped and looked him in the eye. "And since when do you have a problem talking to me, you only get tongue tied when you're trying to impress some hot chicky-babe."

Rodney sighed, releasing all the tension he'd been feeling since they started their walk. "I was trying to think of a way to… bring up your problem… with your memory…"

"Oh that!" She took him by the arm and continued down the beach. "I figure, if I remember…cool! If I don't… what's the harm? I mean, if I don't know what I'm missing…"

"Well, ya… I guess." He patted her hand, which, he noticed was still on his arm. "Change of subject then…" Rodney realized this wasn't going to be easy. "What's your son's name?"

She smiled. "Christopher. Chris, actually."

"Hmm, nice name."

"I think so."

"How old was he when you got divorced?"

"Six. Well, he was six when I filed. It dragged on till he was 10."

"Must have been tough on him if it took that long. Is he staying with his dad while you're here?"

She stopped again, dropping her hand from his arm, but this time she clamped her mouth shut and turned away from him.

"I'm sorry." Rodney said. "It must be a sore subject. You must miss him… your son, I mean."

"It's OK." She turned back to face him. "I just need to make a decision."

"A decision?"

"Ya." Her blue eyes met his again. "About how much to drop that brick wall."

"And?"

"I think I'm comfortable enough with you to, at least, drill a few holes in it." She took his arm again and they continued the walk.

After a minute or so, she spoke quietly. "I said before that my marriage was… a mistake. It was, _big time._ I didn't move to Scotland for the job or to be with my dad." She paused. "I was hiding."

"Hiding… from your ex?"

"At the time, he wasn't my ex… not at that point." She took a deep breath. "My ex husband was… _is…_ not a nice guy. He was… mean. Actually, um… violent." Casie rushed the last word out as if to get the confession over with.

Rodney stopped. "He hit you?"

"Among other things."

"I'm sorry… I just…" He was outraged. "How could he hit you?"

"How? Good question, I've been wondering the same thing for 20 years."

"I just don't understand how a man can justify hitting a woman! Especially you!" He was gritting his teeth, he realized, then he softened and asked her, "How long did it go on?"

"I was young and naive when we got married, _way_ too young. Much too young to understand that a guy doesn't say '_I love you_' with his fist. It took me eight years of black eyes and broken noses and trips to the ER to learn that I was a worthwhile person and I didn't _need_ him to take care of me. But at the time, I didn't have much self-esteem… the final straw was… when he went after Chris." When she paused, he saw the tears on her cheeks reflecting the setting sun. "He got mad at him for… something… leaving his bike in the driveway, I think. He was so mad he picked Chris up and threw him across the room." She stopped walking and went on with her story, not looking away from some far spot on the horizon. "I grabbed Chris in my arms and ran. But we only made it to the front yard. He caught up with us…" She shook her head. "The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital… Chris wasn't hurt badly, but it had taken three of my neighbors to pull Jason off me. They heard both Chris and I scream and came running. He was trying to cut my throat when they stopped him." Her hand went to the side of her neck, where a faint scar could be seen just below the hairline.

Rodney was in shock. He had heard of such things happening but had never actually known anyone who had experienced it. It was several minutes later when he realized she had stopped talking and was looking at him. The tears were drying on her cheeks.

"Are you OK?" She asked him.

"I should be asking you that question."

She smiled, "I am _now._ But I know it's not a pleasant thing to learn about someone."

"No, it's not. But neither is it easy to live through. You both are very lucky to be alive." He knew now that this was what Carson had been referring to when he said she had 'traumatic situations in her past'. "Come here." Rodney took her by the hand and pulled her into a warm, comfortable hug. When he let her go, he said, "I don't know about you, but I _needed_ a… uh… hug." His embarrassment showed.

"I did too, thank you."

Such spontaneous demonstrations from him were unheard of, which made it all the more special to her. They stood silently watching the sun drop below the horizon then turned back toward camp.

After a while Rodney finally voiced what bothered him the most about her story. "I have a hard time understanding how you could put up with behavior like that. Especially after the way you dealt with Cavanaugh."

"That's because you know me now, not the way I was then. And I certainly am not in love with that… excrement. Besides, I wasn't in the mood to put up with his personal jabs."

Rodney got chills just thinking of what kind of woman would actually be attracted to Cavanaugh. A female version of Quasimodo came to mind.

"You'd be surprised what you can put up with when you think you're in love. I had no real experience with relationships of any kind. Friends were few and far between and, actually, Jason was the first guy I'd ever really dated." She shook her head. "I didn't fit in at school, being jumped up through grades so quickly. Never went to a dance. I was very shy and didn't even know how to talk to a guy."

Rodney smirked, "Oh boy, do I know what you're talking about."

"The schools didn't do us any favors making us social misfits, did they?" Casie turned and grinned up at him. "Well, now we live in a city _full_ of social misfits. There may be hope for us yet!"

"We can only hope."

After a moment Casie said, "Boy, when I punch holes in that wall…

"We all have our own barriers we put up… and bring down when we least expect." To himself he thought, 'Mine seem to implode when you're around.'

"There they are!"

"Where the hell have you guys been, we were getting worried!"

The flashlights shining in their eyes instantly blinded Rodney and Casie. "Hey, drop the lights!" Rodney complained. "What are you trying to do, cause permanent retinal damage?"

"Yep, he's fine." John said flatly. "How about you?" He asked Casie, when they reached the couple.

"We're fine. Why, what's the problem?"

John looked down at her, clearly irritated. "Well, you guys have been gone for almost three hours!"

"We have?" Casie was clearly surprised. "Guess we went further down the beach than I thought."

"Yes, we came looking for you because we were worried." Zelenka said.

"Gees guys, maybe we wanted to be alone!" Casie poked John in the ribs. "What if we were off in the bushes getting jiggy with each other?"

He was clearly amused by the suggestion. "Well, we _are_ talking about you and Rodney, here."

"I know you find this line of conversation exceedingly amusing, but I do not!" The blush in McKay's cheeks was clearly visible, even in the dark.

"Ya!" She agreed with Rodney, taking his arm again. "What if I decided to throw Stud Muffin here down on the sand and have my way with him?"

Radek and John snickered at the idea.

"We weren't… Stud…Muffin?" Rodney looked down at Casie and tried to ignore the amusement the other men were getting from his embarrassment.

"It's OK, hon," She pulled on him to get him moving toward camp again. "They're just jealous. Let's get back to camp, I could use a drink."

The good-natured ribbing continued between the four of them till they reached the fire.

"I don't understand why you think it would be so impossible." Rodney continued as they joined Teyla and Aiden.

"Because I _know_ you, Rodney." Said John, who planted himself next to Teyla. Zelenka chuckled again as he poured drinks for everyone out of the huge jug they brought.

"What is impossible?" Asked Teyla.

"That Dr. McKay and I would be having sex on the beach." Answered Casie in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Aiden, who had been taking his first sip of alcohol, choked and John was amazed that she could say that with a straight face. However, Rodney was, again, turning a bright shade of red.

"Were you?" Asked Ford, when he finally finished coughing.

"No… but…"

"But he does give great hug, though." Casie winked at Rodney, who had downed his drink and held the cup out to Radek for more.

John was as entertained by the way she teased Rodney as when he tormented the man. And she did it so very well. However, he was sure that Rodney was, if not outwardly, privately enjoying the way she treated him, like a friend, not just a colleague.

John knew that Rodney didn't have many close friends. Except for Carson and Radek, he couldn't think of anyone else in Atlantis that Rodney thought of as more than an associate. However, he counted himself among Rodney's friends, even if Rodney didn't. "Yes," He thought, "Casie was good for him."


	9. Chapter 9

Recovery

Chapter Nine

"It's about time you pulled this out." Aiden said to Casie as he handed her guitar case to her. "I've been wanting to hear it. Do you sing too?"

She took the case and shooed Aiden over, giving her room to sit with her back to the log. "Let me sit there so I can lean back a little, hon." Carefully, she pulled the musical instrument out and sat down between John and him. "Only if I have enough to drink!"

"Where's her cup? Zelenka… pour the lady a long one!" John said to Radek.

After a few minutes of tuning the strings and a few explanations to Teyla, Casie plucked a few chords. "Don't expect much, I haven't played for anyone, 'cept myself, for a long time."

"What kinda music do you play?" Aiden asked her.

"Everything from classical to rock…"

From the moment she started playing a song that had been recorded by Carol King, they were mesmerized by, not just her skill in playing, but her clear voice. By the time she struck the last chord, they were all speechless.

Seeing the looks on their faces, Casie grabbed her cup and took a large gulp.

"That was incredible!" Radek finally said.

"I have never heard anything like it!" Teyla sighed. "Please, continue playing."

Feeling a little bit embarrassed by their responses, Casie looked over and saw that crooked smile on Rodney's face. He said nothing, but nodded his head to her.

"I don't know why you guys are so surprised!" John said. "I haven't seen anything this lady doesn't do well."

"OK, this might be something you guys know…" Rolling her eyes at John, Casie started a new song, this time it was an old song recorded by The Mamas and the Papas. She soon found she wasn't singing alone. Even Rodney and Zelenka added their voices to '_California Dreamin'_.

They sang into the evening, having more fun than they could remember. Everything from Gordon Lightfoot and The Beatles to Jimmy Buffet and Three Dog Night was covered.

As it turned out, John was an excellent singer. He and Casie took turns singing harmony. Their voices blended beautifully.

"OK, this is the last one… I'm getting horse!" Casie laughed.

When she finished the old Celtic song, she set her guitar back into the case.

"How do you do that?" Aiden asked Casie.

"Do what?"

"Be able to sing so many different kinds of music."

"Oh, that…" She chuckled, "Lessons and lots of work."

"_Another_ degree?" Asked Rodney sounding exasperated.

She smiled at him through the flames. "Na, just a love of music and the ability to make strange noises with my mouth. Would you believe, I took Chinese in high school?"

"Oh now, _there's _a picture." John giggled, obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol. "A pretty lady making strange noises with her mouth…"

"Well, _that's_ a sexual innuendo, if I ever heard one!" Casie threw a handful of sand at him.

"Hey, you said it, I didn't!"

"Not to change the subject, but…" Rodney's eyes drifted from the fire to Casie. "You know what we needed to bring from Earth? Marshmallows! Silly thing really, but I miss marshmallows."

"Ya!" Aiden responded enthusiastically. "Roasted marshmallows, God, I love em… roasted golden brown and all gooey inside!"

"Stop! You're making my mouth water!"

Casie said nothing, but Rodney noticed a slight twinge around her eyes.

"Where's that boom box of yours?" Said John. "We need more music!"

"_The hills are alive_…" Radek sang.

"Oh joy… this should be fun." Smirked Rodney.

"Cut that man off!" Casie laughed. "No more booze for you."

"You don't like musicals?"

"Depends on the musical and if I'm in it, and then, only when I'm sober. I was in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar one summer... back in… gees, must have been '76. The summer before I started at the UW."

"Somehow, you don't look like a Judas to me." Said Radek.

"I was in the chorus. It was a really horrible production, but then, half of us were stoned all the time." They all laughed.

John sat back down after finding the boom box and Casie's stash of music CDs. "How did you smuggle all this to Atlantis?"

"Started out as one CD in an ultra-compressed format tucked into the lining of my guitar case. When we got here I just expanded and re-recorded them."

"Like McKay did with the message we sent back to Earth?"

"Ya, but his is _much_ more efficient. He's a lot better at it than I am too." She smiled over at Rodney.

"Your taste in music really _is_ eclectic." John said, as he thumbed through the CDs. "John Denver, Celtic Lullabies, Carlos Santana… Three Dog Night, Nat King Cole and… _DIRT_?"

"Nitty Gritty Dirt Band… and this one is Creedence Clearwater Revival..."

"What's this one, it's not marked?"

She shrugged, "Don't know, probably a blank I stuck in by accident." Casie grabbed it and tossed it aside. "How about some Jimmy Buffett, that's some good beach party music?"

John grabbed the unlabeled CD back and loaded it into the player, "Let's just see what she's trying to hide…" And hit the play button.

"Hey! I said it was nothing!" Casie tried to recover the CD before it began to play, but John, playfully, blocked her attempt.

Music began. Not what John had thought would be a recording of Casie, but what sounded like a professionally orchestrated piece.

"Oh, I know this… Phil Collins." Stated John smiling. "Wait, who's that singing? That's not him… but he's good."

Rodney knew exactly who it was. He had heard Peter Grodin singing quietly as he worked on various projects since they arrived in Atlantis and knew that he and Casie had been close friends. They were often seen in the commissary talking quietly at an out of the way table. There had been rumors about the two, that perhaps there was a budding romance there. But for some reason, Rodney had dismissed this as mere gossip. Then they had lost Peter when the weapons array had been obliterated by the Wraith. Rodney had been there, watching from a distance, when the array was targeted by one of the remaining Wraith destroyers. He still felt pain and guilt at his loss, Peter had been as close to being a friend to him as anyone in Atlantis. Kate Heightmeyer had called it _survivor's guilt._

He had known that Peter was likely the key to restoring her memory, but up to this point, he hadn't seen much progress in his _subtle_ approach to the problem. Had it been a coincidence that she had included this CD with the others? Or had she unconsciously brought it along…

Rodney looked at Casie from across the fire, she had turned pale and her breathing appeared ragged.

"I need to get away from this fire." She stuttered as she got up. "The smoke is getting to me…" Casie walked, with difficulty, down toward the water.

"Is she alright?" Asked John as he watched her go.

"That's a recording of Peter Grodin." Rodney told him as he rose to follow.

"Oh gees, I'll turn it off."

"Leave it on, this may be… just, leave it on."

When he reached Casie, she was rocking back and forth, staring out at the water, her mouth moving as if to speak, but no sound emerged.

"Casie…" He began gently, reaching out to her.

"No… no no… no no no…" Panic was etched on her face as she backed away from him and bolted down the beach as fast as she could run. Rodney, amazed at the speed her short legs could manage, chased after her, the others not far behind.

She had gone at least a quarter of a mile before her legs buckled and she fell to her knees on the wet sand. Seeing the pain and devastation on her face, Rodney knelt down and wrapped her in his arms. He heard the approach of the others and waved them off as Casie, clinging to him, let out the most blood chilling and anguished cry any of them had ever heard. The explosion of emotion shook Casie's body, all McKay could do was hold her while all the grief she had held in for the last few weeks was expelled through her tears. Not realizing, Rodney also added to the tears that fell to the sand, his grief being released as well.

"Rodney?"

Shaking his head at John's quiet inquiry, he heard his friends back away and return to camp.

They held each other this way for what seemed like hours. The reality of their surroundings becoming clear as the tide came in. Casie continued to cling to him, her sobs subsiding to quiet tears.

Rodney looked around him, bleary-eyed, when he felt the gentle waves soaking them both. "Casie…" He said, gently stroking her hair. "Hey… we need to move." He received no response. "Honey, we _gotta_ move… my butts getting wet."

Somehow, the humor of his comment reached her. She said nothing but allowed him to pull her to her feet and move them up the beach to dry sand.

"I need to get you back to the fire." Rodney said as he tried to get her moving toward the camp.

"No!" She said, shaking her head. "I can't… I don't want them to know…" Her voice was ragged, hardly more than a horse whisper from the trauma her throat had suffered.

"They're your friends, Casie, and they're worried about you. You're soaked to the skin and Carson would kill me if you came back sick."

"No…" She sat down against a log, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"OK, just…" He sighed, knowing he would never get her to move in this state of mind, he knelt down in front of her and lifted her face so she would look at him. "I'll go down and tell them you're alright and get a blanket and some stuff to start a fire. Is that OK?" Rodney felt her shivering as she nodded her agreement. "I'll be as fast as I can, you just stay right here." With that, he turned and ran back toward the camp and the people who were waiting there.

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Once before he had seen such an explosion of emotion from someone. A young Iraqi mother, whose child had been killed by, what the U.S. Government called, insurgents shortly after the fall of Baghdad. That picture had haunted him for years and now he had seen that same grief in the one person he felt could always make it through, no matter what they faced.

Casie Ronin had always had a smile on her face. She confounded many when they first arrived in Atlantis, especially McKay. No matter how blunt and condescending he got, she would shake her head and smile up at him. There had been times when Rodney had been so extremely nasty toward Casie in John's presence, that, had it not been for the chuckle and wink she sent his way, he would have jumped in and defended her. It seemed that she was the _last_ person that needed to be defended. After a week, Rodney had given up his attempts at intimidating the lady and actually appeared to listen to her suggestions.

Rodney wasn't the only one that couldn't intimidate the diminutive Chemist. He had seen one of his men confront her for taking the last of the raisin muffins at breakfast, thinking he could get her to relinquish the pastry. She looked up into the dark eyes of the 6'2" sergent, picked up the muffin, licked it seductively telling him that it was really tasty and it was such bad luck that he hadn't gotten there sooner so that he too could enjoy one. The guy had ended up laughing all the way to his table _after_ taking a plain muffin instead.

She had jumped into his arms and kissed him soundly when he returned from his aborted suicide mission to deliver a nuclear bomb to the Wraith. With tears in her eyes, she told him that a nuclear bomb would seem small, if her favorite poker buddy ever did anything like it again. That, at least, was one loss she didn't have to suffer.

How much had she hidden behind that smile? He knew from experience that grief did strange things to people, would they ever get the old Casie back? Would he ever see the sparkle in her eyes when she listens to Rodney rant about the incompetence of his fellow scientists? All he could do was wait and pray that she would be OK.

He looked at Ford, Teyla and Zelenka wondering what they were thinking. Ford, with his head down, slowly rocked himself back and forth. Teyla looked as if she were silently praying to whatever deity the Athosians looked to for guidance, and Zelenka just kept turning around to look back down the beach, occasionally whispering something in his native Czech.

Glancing at his watch again, noting that it had been over an hour since they had returned to camp, he had just decided that he needed to check on the two scientists when he spotted a shadow approaching the fire. '_A_' shadow, not two. John felt panic rise in his gut as Rodney walked into camp, alone.

(Last chapter coming up... ya ya, I know IT'S ABOUT TIME!)


	10. Chapter 10

Recovery

Chapter Ten

McKay was out of breath and so relieved to feel the heat of the fire when he arrived that it took him a moment to be able to answer the dozens of questions John and the rest threw at him.

"Would you guys just _shut up_ a minute!" Rodney yelled from frustration. When they settled down and gave him a chance to talk, he continued. "She's OK, I think. But she doesn't want to come back to camp. I don't think she is up to facing any of you, not yet."

"Well, we can't just _leave_ her down there." Insisted John.

"I have no intention of leaving her there!" Rodney showed his irritation that they would actually _think _he would even consider the notion. "Look, she's cold and, I have no doubt, in shock. I need to get her warm and into some dry clothes."

He looked at Shepherd, his blue eyes full of fear and concern. "She blocked out the memory of all the people we've lost. That's what this whole camping thing was for, to try to get her to remember so she can get past it." He paused. "I had no idea it would affect her like this. It might take her a while to be able to come back to camp."

John followed him while he gathered some of the firewood and a sleeping bag. "Shouldn't we get her back so Carson could take care of her?"

Rodney shook his head. "She just needs time. I'll be back in the morning…"

"Look, Rodney, everything you need is here, go and get her." John interrupted him before he could refuse again. "We'll leave everything and go back to Atlantis. I'll leave a radio with you so you can call if you need help. I'll let Elizabeth and Carson know what's happened and come get you tomorrow."

McKay looked up at Shepherd, so much was written on the man's face. "Carson knows, but tell him anyway."

"Do me a favor." He put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Tell her… Just tell her that her friends love her."

He nodded and grabbed his jacket before running back down the way he had come.

Casie was shivering uncontrollably when Rodney, again out of breath, dropped to the sand beside her and wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. She barely acknowledged his presence till he pulled her to her feet.

"Come on, you've got to get back to the fire." She shook her head and tried to fight off his hands. "Wait… listen… Do you hear that?" He pointed to the sky. "They're leaving. Going back to the city so you can come back to camp and get warm." Casie stopped fighting him and looked up in time to see the puddle jumper rising over the trees and head off in the direction of Atlantis. "It's just you and me now. No one here but us. Please, Casie, I _have_ to get you warmed up!"

She nodded slowly and allowed him to help her as she stumbled back to camp.

Rodney set her on the drift log beside the fire while he rummaged through bags to find a change of clothing for both of them. Handing her some sweat pants and a dry shirt, he noticed that she stared blankly into the fire. Casie made no attempt to warm herself or to remove her still soaked jeans.

"Oh… uh… I'll give you some privacy so you can change into those." He picked up his bundle. "I'll go back over there and change. Just let me know when you're done." As he started to walk away, the pants he had given to her fell from her hands to the sand. Still, she sat there staring into the fire as if mesmerized by the flames. "Come on Casie, you need to get out of those and get dried off!" No movement from her at all.

McKay was exasperated. What was he going to do if he couldn't get her to listen? Teyla could have helped her out of her clothes… but Teyla was gone now. What the hell was he going to do? Then he got an idea.

"OK, here's the plan, Casie…" Rodney grabbed a sleeping bag and held it between them. "I'll hold this up and you go ahead and get out of your wet clothes." He held it up till his arms started to feel like lead. Hearing no movement from her at all, he cautiously peeked over the top. Frustration boiled over as he dropped the sleeping bag to the ground. She hadn't moved a muscle.

Heaving a big sigh and accepting the inevitable, he knelt down in front of her. "New plan, Case… I'll help you." Feeling his hands start to shake with nervousness, Rodney reached forward to unbutton her jeans. "Just… don't hit me, OK?" He stopped when his fingers reached for the zipper and picked up the sweat pants. Laying them across her lap, he again fumbled with her pants. "You know…" Rodney stuttered. "I'm doing my best to be a gentleman. God knows I don't have much experience being one. Or taking off a woman's clothes for that matter … but then, I wouldn't normally admit that to you… Not that I haven't _dreamed_ of…"

He continued to babble frantically while he got her dried off and into the sweat pants. When he looked up again, Casie was looking calmly at his face.

"O…K…" His heart thumped as he looked at her and knew what came next. The shirt she was wearing was visibly wet half way up her chest. He reached out to grab the hem of the t-shirt when their hands touched, making him jump. As their eyes met, Casie pulled the shirt over her head, leaving her wearing just a lacy, well-filled bra. "Oh my…" Rodney gasped, as he gave her a shirt and quickly turned around. He looked at the fire… he looked at the tents… he looked _anywhere_ else, while he tried to produce enough spit to swallow the huge lump in his throat.

"Rodney…" It was barely above whisper. He turned slowly to find her dressed and standing behind him, fear written in her eyes. "Don't ever die…" She threw her arms around him. "I don't think I could stand to lose you too!"

He held her, stroking her hair, trying to assure her that would never happen. Finally, she pulled back from him.

"You're wet." It came out more as an accusation than a statement.

"So were you." He smiled and spread the sleeping bag next to the fire. "Why don't you lay down and get warm while I go change." Rodney left her there, feeling a bit better that she was, at least, responding to him now.

When he returned, Casie had climbed into the sleeping bag and was staring into the glowing coals of what was left of the fire. He added a few more pieces of wood and started to spread his sleeping bag on the other side of the fire from her.

"Over here." She said. "If you don't mind, would you sleep over here?"

"Uh… OK." So Rodney dragged his bedding over next to her and crawled in, leaving plenty of space between them.

As John lifted the jumper off the ground and turned back toward Atlantis he thought of what Casie and all the rest of the scientists there had gone through. It was one thing for a soldier, they signed up for danger. From the time they took the oath they knew they could die doing their job, but how many of those young people who decided to go to college and get a degree in botany or physics thought that they might die when they got their dream job. He knew that's how most, if not all the scientists in Atlantis thought of it, the ultimate dream job. To actually go to another galaxy… Sure, they were told it could be dangerous, but just driving your car to the corner store could kill you on Earth. How could they have known they would face the loss of so many of their friends and colleagues? How could _any_ of us have known we would come face to face with a race that made the Goa'uld look wimpy?

"Major?" Ford interrupted his thoughts. "Do you think she'll be OK?"

"Ya, she'll be fine." John tried to sound positive. "She may never recover from being left on the mainland with McKay though."

"No kidding, Casie may decide to take you down like she did Cavanaugh." He paused. "It's just… Casie… ya know… She's always so upbeat."

"That may be her problem, Aiden." Said Teyla. "She's always been happy and positive in her outlook for everyone around her. Perhaps she did it so others wouldn't feel so bad."

"I know it helped me many times, to see her smile." Zelenka interjected.

"I remember one time," said John, "When Rodney hadn't slept for two or three days and taking stimulants besides. It was just before the first attack, he was yelling at everyone and tore into Casie for something…"

"I think I know when you are talking about." Said Radek. "When he stopped to take a breath, she told him that if he didn't stop hitting on her she was going to accuse him of sexual harassment. He just stood there with his mouth open. She pulled a power bar out of his jacket and stuffed it in his mouth. Low blood sugar, she said to me and went back to her work. But it did calm him down a bit."

"I don't know how she does it." Ford shook his head.

"Do what?" Asked Shepherd.

"Put up with McKay. All she does is smile at him or laugh… Doesn't she ever get mad?"

"Well, she certainly put Cavanaugh in his place."

"Ya, but she wasn't mad. She was totally calm. I sure would have been mad, actually, I was!"

"I saw her get mad one time." Said Radek. "She was trying to move the desiccating oven in her lab when it slipped and dropped onto her hand. I learned a few new words in English that day."

"That's not mad, that's hurt." Laughed John. "Maybe that's why she's working out with you, Teyla. Didn't you say she needed to work off some frustration?"

"Yes, and now that you mention it, Casie is more serious when we spar than any other time I see her. She is very determined to do well. She had so many bruises on her one day, I had to insist we stop and go to see Dr. Beckett. She argued all the way to the infirmary."

"Now there's something for Heightmeyer…" John said under his breath. "Atlantis, this is Jumper 1 on approach, anyone awake there?" He said into his mic.

"Jumper 1, Atlantis. You're back early, I thought you guys were hitting the beach for a couple days." Came the response.

"Ya well, things change. Would you ask Dr. Weir if I could see her and Dr. Beckett in her office as soon as we land?"

"Sure thing, Jumper 1. Roof is open and you're clear to land."

"Thanks."

A few minutes later, John was sitting in Dr. Weir's office waiting for her to arrive when Carson Beckett came running into the room wearing a grubby t-shirt and some old stretched out sweatpants looking like he had just crawled out of bed. Which made sense, since it was almost 3:00 AM Atlantis time.

"What happened?" He exclaimed. "Where's Casie?"

"Calm down, Doc. Sit down, I'll explain everything when Elizabeth gets here." Shepherd leaned on his knees and scrubbed at his face, he was feeling terrible. The combination of the late hour as well as the large amount of alcohol he'd had along with shock and worry made him feel like hell. And he knew that his flying showed it when he set the jumper down a bit too hard in the landing bay.

"At least tell me if she's in her room, I'd like to see her."

Elizabeth Weir entered the room just then looking surprisingly alert for being woken up at such an un-godly hour.

"What's going on? John, why are you back?"

John slumped back in his chair. "You'd better sit down, this is gonna take a while."

When he had finished reporting on what had happened, he fell silent and stared out the window.

"You just left her there… alone… with Rodney? Carson blurted out.

"There really wasn't much of a choice, Doc. Besides, we're talking 'alone with Rodney'. She's as safe as if she were with your mother."

"I don't like the idea of you leaving them there either, and not for the same reasons Carson has. She should…"

"Elizabeth," John began. "I'm no shrink, but I've seen post traumatic stress. What she needs tonight is someone who cares about her that she feels safe with." He sighed. "God only knows why, but she turned to McKay for help and to tell you the truth, it's the first time since I've known him that Rodney wasn't thinking of himself. I think we need to let him help her through it, at least for tonight. There's time for her to see Dr. Heightmeyer later. Right now what she needs most is a shoulder to cry on."

Sighing, Elizabeth leaned on her desk. "I suppose you're right. We'll contact Rodney in the morning." She looked at her watch. "Well, later _this_ morning. Before you go get them I'll have a talk with Dr. Heightmeyer, let her know what's happened. Meanwhile, I need to get some sleep. I'll see you two at breakfast." She rose and returned to her quarters leaving the two men still in her office.

"I don't like it!" Carson glared at John.

"What, that Casie flipped out or that she's alone out there with McKay?"

"You just left her there! She's vulnerable! You left her with a man who hasn't been with a woman in… who knows how long!"

"Carson, this is Rodney we're talking about! In the first place, he cares for and _respects_ Casie too much to take advantage of her. Besides, Rodney has all the smooth moves of a bull dozer, not to mention, Casie could probably whip his ass if he did try something."

Carson's outrage turned quickly into a pout. "Yes, unless she wanted him to."

John got up and lifted the doctor by the arm out of his chair. "Not gonna happen. Not tonight anyway." He put his arm around Carson's shoulder as they slowly left the office. "It's our lot in life that all the really cute and spunky scientists in Atlantis are attracted to other guys. Look at it this way… it's McKay, not Cavanaugh!"

It had been a rough night for Rodney McKay, with Casie crying off and on and the nice but disquieting reality of her cuddling close to him made it almost impossible for him to get any sleep till nearly dawn. When he did finally wake up, nature was screaming at him to find the nearest tree to rid himself of all the alcohol he'd had the night before. He shivered as he carefully climbed out of his sleeping bag so as not to disturb Casie, and staggered through the morning fog to the treeline. He never fancied himself as a nature boy, but he was exceedingly grateful for the relief. He just hoped he didn't get bit or stung in a very sensitive area.

"Coffee… Ya, that's what I need, massive amounts of nice hot coffee." He thought as he wound his way around the driftwood back to camp. Coaxing the fire back to life with fresh wood wasn't something he was good at but if he intended to replenish his caffeine reserves, he would have to give it his best shot.

While he waited for the coffee to brew, he decided to climb back into the relative warmth of his sleeping bag. That was when he realized that Casie wasn't in hers. He thought she'd been there when he first woke up, but where was she? Rodney looked around franticly calling her name but got no response. How far did sound carry in the fog? He knew it was different from clear weather and his mind raced to find the information in his cluttered mind till he realized through the panic that finding the right equation was superfluous.

He ran down to the water where he found her tracks in the wet sand. Calling her name, he followed the tracks till he heard a faint noise in the distance.

"I'm here!" The voice was faint but unmistakable. Rodney found her sitting on a log, her face again wet with tears.

Rodney threw his arms around her in relief but quickly regained his composure and let her go. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"I didn't want to wake you." She mumbled, dropping her eyes from him. "I had a dream about Peter."

"You didn't want to wake me, but you scared me to death." Exasperation was clearly audible in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Gees," He expelled all his pent up anxiety in one huge sigh. "Don't worry about it, I'm not mad. Just incredibly stupid and insensitive."

This brought a half smile to her lips. "You're anything but stupid."

"Oh, just insensitive. Come on, I made coffee." He pulled her off the log and led her back to camp, where he found the coffee boiling over and the pot almost dry. Between his ranting, Casie grabbed the coffee pot from him.

"Damn, you're a total bitch before you've had your morning coffee!" she said. "Go sit down and let me do it. Yours would probably taste like mud anyway."

As he sat on his sleeping bag and leaned against the log he said. "I'm not a bitch… and who says I can't make coffee?"

"Radek."

"Figures!" He grumbled.

After she had set the pot near the fire Casie sat next to Rodney and pulled her sleeping bag over her lap, offering to share, she threw part of it over him as well. They sat quietly watching the flames of the campfire and waited for the coffee.

"You're not insensitive." Casie stated a few minutes later. "Last night was proof enough of that. I'm really sorry I worried you, but when I woke up from that dream…"

"Don't worry about it."

"It's just that you stayed awake for so long last night that I didn't want to wake you when I felt the tears starting again." Casie laid her head on her knees.

"I miss him too." Rodney felt his throat tighten. "I'm sure not as much as you. I know you two were…"

"He was my best friend here." She looked up at McKay. "I know there were rumors about us, but that's all they were."

"Oh, well…" he said with a bit of relief in his voice. "I never thought…"

"Yes, you did. That's the way he wanted it, but I wasn't his type." She shook her head.

"He must have been dumber than I thought."

Casie started to object to hearing her best friend portrayed as less that what he was, a genius, not to McKay's level, but still a genius. Then she realized what Rodney had meant.

"Rodney, Peter was gay. When I said I wasn't his type, I really meant it." She watched his face to see his reaction to this revelation. When there was no response other than a slight indication of shock, she continued. "He didn't want anyone on Atlantis to know."

"Why would he want to hide it? Well, I guess that's kind of a dumb question."

"He especially didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"He respected you, hon. Peter couldn't stand the thought of seeing disgust and rejection on your face. He loved working with you… even if you guys did butt heads all the time."

"I never would have…"

"Maybe not you, but I can think of several people who would have ostracized him, and not just the military faction here."

They both sat quietly for several minutes. Rodney tried to remember any indication in Peter's mannerisms that might have hinted at his sexual preference, then he realized that he was doing exactly what all those_ others_ would have done, compare him to all the stereotypes of gay men that you see in movies. He was disgusted with himself, he had liked Peter and didn't care if he was gay or straight. At least, he hoped he wouldn't have. Then something occurred to him.

"If he didn't want anyone to know, how did you?"

"I'm very observant." She smiled at his reaction. "We were eating a late lunch one day. About a month after we got here. I noticed he kept watching a guy eating his lunch and wondered what was wrong with the guy. Then when he got up to leave the area," Casie chuckled. "Peter kept his eyes on the guy's butt as he walked away, you know, the way I might do. I just said, quietly of course, _'So, you're gay, huh?'_" Casie laughed again. "You should have seen the look on his face. Well, we had a long talk, he realized I didn't care who he had in his bed and our friendship was solidified then and there."

"He was lucky to have you to open up to." Rodney admitted.

"I was the one that was lucky, we had more fun… Between our mutual love of music and scoping out guys for each other… I think he was the best friend I've ever had." Casie became quiet again and laid her head back down on her knees.

"So…" He decided to try to lighten her mood. "Who's butt was it that he was watching? Wasn't mine was it?"

"Uh, no… sorry. He left that to…" She stopped before finishing what she was going to say. "It was John. Peter had a serious crush on him. Um… that's just between you and me, hon."

Rodney looked terribly hurt. "I would never…!"

Casie nudged him on the arm. "See, I said you weren't insensitive."

"Maybe its just tact that I lack." Rodney muttered. He was acutely aware of the warmth of her next to him and tried to ignore it.

"I've noticed that about some geniuses." She smiled sadly at him. "I lived with one whose sarcasm and tactlessness make you look like an amateur."

"Your ex?" he asked surprised.

Casie shook her head and her smile grew. "My dad. That man could flay you before you knew what hit you. Scared a lot of his students, even Carson. He almost dropped out of school till Dad realized he might lose his most promising student and let up on him."

"Carson almost gave up medicine?"

"Ya, but Dad kinda took him under his wing. I had to give Carson some pointers on how to deal with Dad and he got to the point where he could ignore the jabs. That's probably why Carson and you are such good friends. A bit of nostalgia I guess."

"Is that why you tolerate me, cause I remind you of your father?" Rodney chuckled but Casie's smile disappeared and she got up quickly.

"Hardly."

"Then why do you? I'm not known for my delightful personality."

"That coffee should be ready." She said.

After pouring them both a cup she returned to the place she so abruptly vacated a few moments before.

"Oh, that goes down good." Exclaimed Rodney after he drained half of his.

"Why do you bother with a cup? Just hook up an IV."

"Then I couldn't taste it or feel the heat going down my throat. Besides, I hate needles."

Casie smiled, then after gazing into her cup for several minutes she said, "I guess I should go talk to Kate now, huh? I mean, instead of dragging you down with my messed up head."

"Might be a good idea, she's easier to talk to once you take that first step into her office." Rodney emptied his cup and got up to find the radio Shepherd had left for them. "And you don't drag me down, you can talk to me anytime."

Shortly thereafter, they reached Atlantis on the radio, assuring a frantic Carson Beckett that Casie was alright and requested that John Shepherd fly out to pick them up.

"John said it should take him about 20 minutes to get here." Said Rodney. "Guess we should pack all this stuff up."

Casie sighed. "I suppose everyone on Atlantis has heard by now."

McKay paused as he poured a bucket of water on the fire. "Heard what?"

"About last night." She turned away from him and continued to shake the sand out of the sleeping bags.

"I doubt it. John and the others would never say anything, except to Carson and Elizabeth." Casie said nothing more while they packed up the gear and stacked it.

Just as they sat down to munch on a power bar and wait, they heard the engines on the puddle jumper approaching from the north and watched as it set down gently on the beach a short distance from them. The hatch dropped open and Shepherd ambled down the ramp.

Casie, feeling suddenly shy at the approach of her friend, hung back as Rodney handed him a cooler.

"How's she doing?" asked John when he and Rodney reached the jumper before Casie.

"She'll be OK, still awfully quiet though." He whispered.

As Casie reached the jumper, Rodney offered to take the tents she was loaded down with. When she started to refuse Shepherd said, "Damn woman, let him take it! It's the first time I've ever seen him volunteer to lug anything around!"

"Very funny!" Rodney growled.

When she handed over her load, John came over to her.

"Come here you." He said then scooped her up into a bear hug and kissed her on the cheek. After which, he set her down and without a word went back to loading the ship.

Casie stared at his back as he walked away.

"See! I told you." Rodney said looking down at her.

"Told me…?" She asked.

"That you have friends who… who care a lot about you." Rodney stumbled over the words in his rush to say them.

"Ya." She said. "I guess I'm pretty lucky."

They enlisted several people to help unload the supplies after returning to Atlantis so it took no time at all. When they realized that it was now empty except for them, Rodney started to close the hatch when Casie stopped him.

"You wanted to know why…" She said to him.

He turned to look at her, puzzled for just a moment. Then he remembered their conversation on the beach only an hour before and sat down on the bench in the back of the jumper and waited.

Casie walked over to stand in front of him, looking for a moment into his blue eyes then gently cupped his face with her hands. "Because I like you, Rodney McKay." She said quietly, then kissed him lightly on the lips and walked away.

After the shock wore off, or most of it anyway, Dr. Rodney McKay realized that his life was going to be getting a bit more complicated for a while. But as he closed the hatch at the back of the puddle jumper, a crooked smile tugged at his lips.

THE END


End file.
